Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
