Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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