I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
