Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
