that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He felt like a one man threesome
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
