Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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