Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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