Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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