I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She bit a glass in half.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
