last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it penis luge time yet?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize