I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
