On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
