My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
