So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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