I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
