the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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