She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
