He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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