i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
