we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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