so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
