if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
