dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
