Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is the high leading the old right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
