I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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