I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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