"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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