It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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