i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Soap is not a condiment
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
