our cab driver is having phone sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
