I wish I could punch you in the face.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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