someone owes me an orgasm
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
