maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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