bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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