She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
