i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
