the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
