It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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