i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
