I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
