You don't have asthma, your pregnant
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
