hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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