Whod you bang
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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