come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
