what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I won the penis lottery.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
