Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
