What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize