My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
