Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
