Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
