Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
