If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
