Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
