3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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