We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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