no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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